If you’re an SL designer and you have received a list similar to this, please TRASH IT immediately, and mute the sender. This is utter trash, and I am offended this person would dare ask for money for her low quality blogging “services”. S-C-A-M!

Read it and LOL!!

If you want an example of some of tabytha1′s fine quality blogging, read this post: Business’s Saving Big Money In Second Life. Girl please, learn to use paragraphs. WALL.OF.TEXT! My eyes are burning.

SL Name: tabytha1 Baily
Blog address: http://tabystake.blogspot.com/

The following is a price list of basic services. I am available for special projects and being a contributer. If you do not see below what it is that you require, or for longer running contract blogging please send me a note card or IM me in world if I am online.
———————————————————————————–
Basic Blogging Prices:

-1 post only with photo-200L
-1 week (5 posts) -800L
-1 month (20 posts)-3000
————————————————————————————-
Special one time Event package where I am required to attend:
2000L-includes-
-2 posts to advertise the event
-1 post after the event with multiple pictures and links to your domain or blog. This post will include a substantial story about the event and the people involved. If you have a video you would like posted, I will post that as well.

Special one time Event package where I am not required to attend:
*story and pics to be provided to me*
500L-includes
-2 posts to advertise event
-1 post after the event with pics

*The above special packages include:
- posts to Twitter, Facebook, Moolto and Pixelook
-messages to Moolto and Pixelook groups and friends
-if requested a group set up in Moolto and Pixelook for your event
-If you have any blogs I will follow them and I will suggest to my followers

*Contributing as an author on your own blog is the same prices as above*
—————————————————————————————
*Non-posting Services*

Taby’s Talk live Chat and Podcast Services:
- host a live chat show/meeting etc.. on my blog it is 1000L/hr
-produce an audio podcast which will play on the blog *prices vary IM for this
-To follow a list of your blogs and your blogs you follow-20L/follow
-To add links to your domain or event page-20L/Link
-To join your blog network-free
————————————————————————————-
*Advertising*
-To add your custom gadget or HTML code-1000L/month
————————————————————————————
*Contracts:

For longer running contracts the rates depend on the number of posts and the length of time the contract is for, so please IM me if you wish to discuss your needs of a more longterm nature.

First of all, I can’t refund items that are non-transferable.  And if you’re using an older client (a client no longer being produced!), refuse to upgrade, purchase tattoo makeup and then want a refund because you can’t wear it, I’m not going to oblige you.  If it were still the early days of 2.0, I would have refunded the woman’s money without question.  But since there are so many clients now that support tattoos, this isn’t the case anymore.

When SL 2.0 first debuted, I knew it would take a while for other clients to adapt its code.  That wasn’t the main audience I was catering to when I first created makeup, and I was fine paying my store parcel out of pocket until more people updated their viewers.  For me, it was fun to play with something new, and answer the call for more avatar customization.  At the same time, it’s a new platform for creation;  I like helping to further makeup to where, all brands considered, there’s a common standard between all of us.

An example of ‘standard’ is the need to texture all eyeshadows you sell, not just simply apply a photoshop brush over the eye area and think people will wear it.  That’s called “dead color”.  Even matte eyeshadow has a little shine in real life.  Another standard would be lipstick sizes, since skin creations all feature different lip shapes.  And did you know the size of a person’s eyes can determine how an eyeshadow tattoo will look on them?  It matters as much as lip size does.

My exchange with the customer left me wondering how many people had yet to upgrade to a 2.0-compatible viewer.  I sampled a popular freebie group and asked their opinion, and found some people were concerned they would need new computers in order to do so, or new graphics cards.  Upgrading a computer can be expensive; I had to do this a year ago because my computer of ten years finally died on me, and I definitely dreaded it.  But is the upgrade so you can view SL with ultra graphics settings?  Or low?  What settings are you using?  I don’t think you’d need a new computer for the latter.  Of course, there are always some exceptions out there, but I think those are few and far in between.

I’m no IT, but I do know one.  To make sure I knew what I was talking about, I snagged one on my friends list and asked him a few questions.  To protect his privacy, I’ve removed his name.  Please keep in mind this addresses using not specifically the official 2.0 viewer, but a viewer that is up to date and can use basic functions like tattoos and multiple clothing layers.

Q: In your opinion, what’s the most basic sort of computer someone needs to run a 2.0-compatible version of an SL viewer?

A: There really aren’t basic computers anymore, at least when it comes to running SL Intel Core i7 processors will handle just about anything, so what it really comes down to is RAM and Graphics processor. A good midline Nvidia card and at 4 GB (SL can’t use all of that, but it will allow your PC to do more simultaneously).

Q: What year did a computer have to be manufactured to run SL right out of the box?

A: Mimimum recommended requirments are only 1.5GHz processor, and 1 or more GB or RAM. The recommended gfx cards have all been available for at least several years.

Q: And that’s SL 2.0?

A: Yes. Keep in mind that those are minimal, but should still allow for full functionality.  When it comes right down to it, SL isn’t that advanced a system to require anything more.  I have a five year old laptop that  easily handles it.  The only upgrade I’ve performed on it in the past two years is maxing out the RAM at 4Gb.  Obviously the better the hardware, the better the result, but I honestly don’t see that they would be required to upgrade any hardware for a clothing layer.

Second Life isn’t the only social mmo that exists.  With the advent of games such as Blue Mars, I sympathize with LL’s need to update their graphics and keep attracting new customers.  I also believe in user-created content, as much of it as possible.  As a whole, we advance the game, its standards for clothing, makeup and everything else, one upload at a time.   It’s a collective consciousness sort of thing, similar to how art helps improve society.

If you’re able to upgrade and you just haven’t done so, give it a shot.   If you don’t like the official client, try some of the 2.0-compatible ones that might be better for your computer.  Just like with different brands of skins and makeup, we all have to find our perfect fit.  But we can’t improve this game unless everyone moves foward.  The old viewers are nice, but the new ones are even better.

And don’t buy tattoo makeup if you’re using an old viewer.  I won’t refund you for it.

I thought they were inexpensive, and pretty well done, so I found the creator and sent her an IM in-world to say how much I liked her lips. The exchange was brief, and she was nice enough. She also provided pretty excellent customer service when one of the packs that I’ve purchased was delivered incorrectly.

Readers on my blog noticed the new tattoos and asked where I purchased them from — but I didn’t share. I am selfish. I like to keep some things to myself. What’s new?

Another reason why I didn’t share the info is because I thought this creator was kind of an asshole after reading her picks. I didn’t feel bad about not giving her business any publicity. I’m really sorry to the 20+ people who left comments on my blog and Flickr inquiring about these lips, but I just don’t want to endorse someone with this attitude.

If you can’t read the image above, this is what her pick says:

If you are a customer or a passer by this is in no way directed at you. If you were planning on bashing me, trying to debate about my prices or being a dumbass, by all means read on!

Several designers and owners of groups seem to find my store to be some kind of threat.

You know what? KISS MY ASS. I make adequate money to cash out from my business, pay my land tier and don’t sit around praying someone will buy a turd with lipstick from me for 1k.

If this hurts your business, STEP IT UP. You probably weren’t making money before I price dumped anyway were you. Yeah deny it you lying bucket of goat urine.

I make it possible for people that couldn’t normally have nice things to go in style. Not everybody here can crap money.

Also for every noob that gets in a nice skin from me, that’s 1 other artist’s creation saved from wearing as a welcome area issued ripoff.

Sorry your crap doesn’t sell. Market the hell out of it, put it at a decent price, Don’t swim in my toilet and I won’t pee in your pool.

If you are a customer or a passer by this is in no way directed at you. If you were planning on bashing me, trying to debate about my prices or being a dumbass, by all means read on!

So, that’s my reason. If you still wan’t it, use SL Search.

News style (also journalistic style or news writing style) is the prose style used for news reporting in media such as newspapers, radio and television. News style encompasses not only vocabulary and sentence structure, but also the way in which stories present the information in terms of relative importance, tone, and intended audience.

News writing attempts to answer all the basic questions about any particular event – who, what, when, where and why (the Five Ws) and also often how – at the opening of the article. This form of structure is sometimes called the “inverted pyramid,” to refer to the decreasing importance of information in subsequent paragraphs. -

News stories also contain at least one of the following important characteristics relative to the intended audience: proximity, prominence, timeliness, human interest, oddity, or consequence.

Journalistic prose is explicit and precise, and tries not to rely on jargon. As a rule, journalists will not use a long word when a short one will do. They use subject-verb-object construction and vivid, active prose (see Grammar). They offer anecdotes, examples and metaphors, and they rarely depend on colorless generalizations or abstract ideas. News writers try to avoid using the same word more than once in a paragraph (sometimes called an “echo” or “word mirror”). – Source Wikipedia.

I WUZ JUS INFORMD DAT SECOND LIFE FASHION BLOGGERS SHUD BE WRITIN IN MUTCH MOAR PROFESHUNAL MANNR. NO USE OV SLANG OR ABBREVIASHUNS R APPROPRIATE 4 USE IN DIS LOFTY PROFESHUN. I SAY PULL TEH STICK OUT OV UR ASS AN LIGHTEN UP PEEPS. DIS AR TEH 4 FUN – Y MAK IT ALL SERIOUS. 4 SUM BLOGGIN IZ BOUT HAVIN CERTAIN STYLE AN IF DAT STYLE IZ FULL OV SLANG AN COLLOQUILISMS DAT SO BE IT. WHEN TEH NYTIMEZ CONTACTS ME AN ASKZ ME 2 BLOG PROFESHUNALLY 4 THEM, DEN IM GONNA BECOME MOAR, LULZ, “PROFESHUNAL”. TIL DEN JUS CLOSE TEH PAEG U R HATIN ON AN PROCED 2 TEH NEXT BLOG.

Hey Blog Critics perhaps you should make yourself familiar with the concept of Gonzo Journalism before snubbing your nose at certain bloggers. And if you don’t know what that is perhaps you should google it (nice use of colloquialism there).   For me in particular I make grammar mistakes all the time.  I misspell words all the time.  I may even leave out a word or two as well.  My use of punctuation SUCKS!  But guess what?  I have a bachelors degree and have completed coursework on the masters level in Social Work.  I ain’t a dummy but I do make mistakes. I am tired of people in fashion trying to impose standards in regards to what is a good blog:  This uppitiness ranges from criticizing their grammar to deleting their blog from a feed because their pictures aren’t good enough.  For god’s sake why add them in the first place?  Lighten up folks – end this virtual snobbery now!  Okay end of rant.

I had this friend who lied. She lied all the time, about everything big and little. It took a lot of us a long time to figure out that she was lying. We were always “just missing” her boyfriend, or somehow not able to see the fantastic expensive new thing she had. She’d just taken it home, usually. But the thing was, she was kind.

She’d buy you lunch or dinner if you were broke. She’d give you rides to places, invite you to go events with her. And eventually to many of us, it became apparent that her lies of love, riches and excitement were because she was unhappy and desperate to be accepted. She was never malicious; she was never mean spirited or unkind. She just couldn’t tell the truth – not even about the smallest things. It was easy to forgive, because of her unending kind heart, and the warmth of friendship she extended to everyone who knew her.

But the person I write to you about today only has one trait in common with that girl of long ago. She lies.

What is it about the DramaHoars that makes seemingly bright people stand beside them? Is it fear of the Cannon of Rage and Drama being turned on them? Why do people fear them? Why do people abandon their friends, people of good hearts and souls when they are under fire? Why? Because the DramaHoars have time and energy and no real lives….and they will spend all of their time making YOUR life hell.

Let me give you an example and tell you a tale that you already know, I’m just going to fill in some gaps.

You can call me Credulous because I take what people say at face value and never suspect they are building castles in the air. If you tell me you live in England, I believe you. When I find out you live in Arkansas, I’m a little surprised yet – I like to chalk up most things to misunderstandings. However, I am not a fool and when I discover that someone’s entire presentation of her Self is a lie, than I find it difficult to believe even the simplest statements from her. Why does this matter? Because one of the longest running serial dramas center on accusations repeatedly made by such a person, a woman I will call Inanity. I finally decided to write this after seeing her raise her ugly head once more with more inventions and lies. Lies can be protective, they can help create the persona you are trying to evoke from your avatar so there are probably a lot of instances where they make sense as long as others aren’t being harmed. But lies that are created solely to hurt others are vicious and have caused more heartache that is reasonable to expect one community to stand.

I first encountered Inanity after I had a short public spat about blogger/creator conflicts with a man with more talent than charm. Let’s call him Yeti. We argued back and forth some until one of us suggested an in-world peace negotiation that ended with a peace treaty. That remains the one and only conversation I have had face to face with Yeti. I don’t recall who it was, but one of us posted an announcement that peace had been declared with a tongue in cheek comment that we had “kissed and made up.” Shortly after I received an IM from Inanity – a woman I did not know and had never had a personal conversation with, requesting a short conversation. I had no idea why she wanted to talk to me, but figured it might have to do with one of the stores she worked for.  But no, she wanted to warn me off Yeti and explained why I should not pursue him.

This was some sort of more polite version of WHY ARE YOU CAMMING ON MY BOYFRIEND? But, despite being odd – it wasn’t rude. Obviously she just thought there was something going there.

She explained that she and her husband were close personal friends to Yeti and his wife, that they spent weekends together and did barbecues together. She even babysat the children.  She assured me he would never leave his wife and that his only real friend in SL was her, Inanity, and all the rest of his relationships were just entertainment to see how silly people could be. Best friends, barbecues and babysitting, oh my – that’s RL Stuff! I guess that is what I would have thought if I thought much about it at all. Mainly I was confused why she was telling me this as I had never expressed an interest in Yeti, did not know Yeti and my only interaction with Yeti had been an argument. I chalked the whole thing up to SL craziness, but I didn’t forget it because being warned off someone I didn’t know was so weird.

I continued to interact with Inanity in plurk, though about nothing terribly significant. Her life seemed always to swing between ecstasy and despair and full of angst and drama. She often felt attacked by people. Her life was full of more drama than ten ordinary lives. I sent my share of (cozy) hugs of encouragement though I began to think that much of the drama was self-induced since she had a spiteful streak when talking about people who upset her.

However, sometime about a year after that first conversation I learned from her plurk that she was going to visiting my town – so I spent some time finding the best places for her to go – after all, she would be traveling thousands of miles and I wanted her to enjoy it. However, during the course of this planning I discovered that Inanity did not live on the other side of the world, but just a few miles away from me. She was not Yeti’s neighbor, she didn’t even live on the same continent. Babysitting and Barbecues? I was a bit stunned by the complexity and fully developed multi-layered lies she had told me. I had believed them for more than a year because, well mainly because I didn’t think about Inanity that much at all.

Around the same time, Inanity declared herself a victim of a cruel machinations by someone I know very well. I guess I will call her Dilly. While I might believe Dilly capable of doing, saying or writing something stupid, I did not think the allegations fit her character. Dilly is sweet and has a good heart though she often talks before she thinks. Dilly is also prone to take her broken heart, chop it in to pieces and strew the heartbreak all over the sidewalk for everyone to step on.  That leads a lot of people to go “ewwww” and run away. However, she always realizes her mistakes and accepts responsibility for them. She is sometimes unwise, but she doesn’t lie. Inanity made some serious accusations against Dilly – accusations that made no sense in the light of my understanding of her character. The accusations included subtle and secretive manipulations that are the opposite of the blunt, heavy-handed and clumsy mistakes in judgment that Dilly freely acknowledge and owns up for with frank apology.

When I weighed the credibility of Inanity who had constructed a complex series of lies that I had never questioned with the credibility of Dilly who cannot sustain an alt’s secret identity for five minutes without announcing it, I knew who to believe. The lies about the stalker were complex, subtle lies requiring a master manipulator with a proven ability to sustain a lie for months on end. I believe there was never a stalker alt and the entire psychodrama is Inanity’s invention. She’s the most talented and extravagant inventor of tall tales I have met in SL. I am really impressed with the detail she brings to her inventions. She could write fiction. Perhaps she does?

She continued to talk about people trying to “ruin her marriage” while having open conversations with Yeti that would ruin most marriages if they were discovered. Writing tomes of love, declaring her raging lust and how her life has been fulfilled by Yeti – yet having declared previously that her husband is her soul mate.  And so I wonder is this public declaration of love for Yeti some strange game or invention? Is this even Yeti on plurk or is it an Alt created by Inanity? Is she having a relationship with anyone? Who can tell?

Dilly is well able to defend herself and I would not bother with this story if it were only this, but Inanity is not content with one casualty of her schemes. She plays vicious games on plurk and the second things don’t go her way, attacks people. Her fangirls have attacked fellow plurkers who have dared to disagree with her and en masse deleted people from their plurklines.

For a woman in love with her soul mate, she spends a lot of time skyping with her girlfriends, who pass around the chat logs, about how she’s going to have this man or that man, all about her rich and varied sex life. She just announced her next conquest and her friends are spreading the news. No man can resist her.

She professes herself a proponent of tough love and her preferred response to other people’s problems is “get over it, you whiner.”  No one would be so foolish as to respond to her bleats about her illness, her marital woes and her drama with such lack of sympathy. That would result in the Cannon of Rage and Drama being turned on them. People who suggest her “tough love” is just another form of sociopathy become the targets of negative blog posts written by her weak-minded and easily manipulated followers.

She attacks people in world and declares SHE was attacked. She deletes her plurk account after EVERY SINGLE incident of bad behavior on her part – thus eradicating her words from people’s timelines – but not our hearts. Then she comes back two days later and her fangirls pretend nothing has happened. And they expect the injured and wounded to do so as well – or WOE be to them! “PLAY with us,” they say. ”Or else.” She attacks people in world and then claims she was wronged, leaving comments around the blogosphere about the attacker and how she was treated so, so poorly.

So, it comes down to this. I think it’s important that you FRIENDS of hers know this. She makes you look stupid. She makes you look complicit in her lies and mistreatment of your peers. And people are beginning to wonder about YOU now. There are still a couple people I would like to consider friends, but they continue to believe every lie this woman says. I have not made any demands that they choose friendship with her over me. That’s not my style. However, she cannot even tell the truth about whether she is online or not and they know that – so I don’t think I should have to make such a demand.  I think I should just sever my ties with them completely because continuing to believe someone who lies as easily and naturally as most people tell the truth suggests they want to believe the lies – because I don’t think they can possibly be that stupid. What do you think? Can they be that dumb? Do they like the lies because they like the drama?

- Call Me Credulous

• Bullying is about repeated abuse of an individual or group over a period of time
• Bullying is about power, perceived or real, meaning that the target is perceived as an outsider or less than powerful than the dominant group:  We are going to bully you into submission to make ourselves feel better.
• Bullying is about social isolation:  We need to run this person out of realm, our world etc and make sure that no one will be friends with this person.
• It is about spreading gossip about the person, threatening others who wish to socialize with this person, publicly humiliating this person and so on. – Don’t you dare be friends with this person or I hate this person so I refuse to wear whatever they buy etc etc
• It is more than just an angry outburst its repeatedly attempting to make this person feel less than, uncomfortable and unwanted.
• It involves mocking, arguing others into submission, even spreading lies and false gossip.

And what about the bully themselves.  What common traits do they seem to possess.  Well my friends here is what I have found out:

• They tend to be authoritarian with need to control those around them either passively or more directly.  They can be described as control freaks.
• They appear on the surface to possess arrogance and narcissism or display an overabundance of shame and anxiety.  Either way the bullying gives them a sense of empowerment.
• They tend to be highly opinionated characterized with displays of superiority.
• They appear to possess a Jekyll and Hyde nature meaning charming in public whereas in private, aggressive and vindictive
• There is an excessive use of charm almost to the point of appearing superficial and glib.  They can be described as smooth, fawning and sycophantic.
• They target those they feel threatened by in an effort to uplift their own weak sense of self.
• They may event attempt to  portray themselves as the victim and rarely the perpetrator
• Often times, the bully has also been bullied and has yet to fully process what has happened to them.

For me personally I have been accused of being a bully.  And have I?  Yes I may have.  I have gotten so angry at a couple people in my second life and revealed things they should not have been revealed.  And for me personally I have come to see this side of me in the context of virtual living and have made a conscious effort to work on it.  I allowed my anger to control my choices vs. looking at it from the context of potential abuse.  Just because someone treats you like crap doesn’t make it okay for you to lash out and publicly humiliate someone even if the story is true.

But what bothers me about this use of the word bully in the context of SL is it seems to be used more as a tool of social control vs actual concern for a target.  It is used as a way to make a person be quiet rather than to respect them as an individual who has a need to express his or her opinion in whatever manner they choose.  If someone says something perceived as controversial or negative the best way to shut them these days seems to involve calling them a bully.  Please keep in mind I am referring to plurks, posts or opinions that are general in nature – not say a post about some sort of butthurt at the hands of some specific person.

I also am bothered by the promotion of this anti bullying day in second life.  I just worry that some people will jump on the band wagon out of a need to look good vs being concerned with the actual issues at hand.  This anti bullying day was not started to wage a war against bullying in second life but to help protect school children from harassment and intimidation.  This day is meant for real life action and support not for a virtual get together. And frankly some of the people involved are less than admired and may in actuality be viewed as bullies themselves.

I do commend those that believe in this day but instead of some in world passing of pink shirts I challenge you to move your efforts and actions to real life.  But if you choose to keep it in context of SL, why not take a moment to really think about the actions and behaviors of your peers.  And if you really feel as though someone is exhibiting the behaviors of a bully, take a private stand and discuss their behaviors with them.  And for god sakes, don’t plurk or blog it.  This will only create a defense mechanism you may not be able to overcome.

Okay enough said, the bully has spoken.  This is just my two cents folks – love me or hate me I am not afraid to say I feel.  Ciao!

So said avatar made her own clothes, then her own skin, out of old sketches she had laying around. Then said avatar went to make her own hair, because the hair she had bought from the few stores in SL were attachments like pigtails, ponytails, dreadlocks, some textured in grayscale hair textures, some textured in wood, always black. This avatar got bored and wanted some close to her hair in RL.

So she made her own texture, made a shoulder length hairstyle, made a short bob, made bangs etc. She had about 4 styles when she opened her store. All black hair, mod/transfer/no copy.

Customers came in (to her surprise) but then they began to give feedback. Not all favourable. Hair was too big, “no copy” makes them afraid to modify. So the hair maker made her shape smaller, repackaged the hair to that smaller size, she made the attachments modify/copy/no transfer. And made more hair.

More feedback came in, people were tired of black hair, the designer then made new textures, at first a white and blonde one, figuring it would be the best base colour that can be tinted easily to other colours (less clutter in inventory too). She still had difficulty matching the default hair to the prim hair though. And when an update to the SL viewer made the alpha textures even more horrid on top of one another, the designer nearly threw up her hands in exasperation. Until she had an idea and began to cover her bald head with solid hair textured prims.  She ran with that idea. The store was good. Hair became even more fun.

Now people will jump in, prolly older or old as me to say, no they did it first. And I don’t really care. Never said she created prim hair, nor would she dare make that claim. Honestly, who does that? But if you were around in 2004 with 300 black prims on your head, can you really say you made it marketable? I’ll say that designer made the “all prim hair/make your head bald” thing work. How? By personally going through the customer service of re-training people’s thinking and convincing them it’s okay to be bald; writing notes on how to bald oneself step by step; creating manuals on how to modify prim hair and colourize it. I love how people took those notecards and regurgitated them on their blogs without crediting her for it too. Seriously, I do. Cuz when one kinda spearheads a hair-revolution, one gets flack for it. Suddenly the critiques were about the 40-50 torus prims the hair had were too primmy, or only clueless lag-inducers wore it. I didn’t know if the comments pertained to the designer or the customers, or whoever it was referred to — we just let it slide. The hair designer’s marketing slogan soon became: “Own It.” Thanks for the idea.

That person bowed out of the business a long time ago. But I think the trend started still remains. What was made back in the day pales in comparison to what is out now. But looking back, listening to people made that SL business relevant. Even if it was just for a blip of a SL millisecond. A little designer can look back and say she made a fairly significant difference to the way things were done. It was a good ride.

The moral of this is … listening to feedback helps. Especially the ones that keep you humble and remembering that you still haven’t achieved perfection. If I slouched back every time someone said something critical about my work, I would’ve never made an honest effort to improve it. Swallowing pride and honouring those comments helped me through a financially difficult time in my life. There were times that the critiques felt over the top like the accusation that posting a seemingly overtly sexualized ad for hair, was objectifying women and setting back the movement, which incited angry and defensive reactions, but in the end, resulted in a more mindful of the way advertising things.

Criticism is subjective, but it doesn’t mean it’s without merit. A lot of people still go for the brunette hair in SL, but does that mean designers should just stick to that colour and not offer other colours? A gripe about the lack of variety provided the plethora of fatpacks offered today. If we all decided not to accommodate other people, we wouldn’t be as far as we are in SL fashion as we are now.

Somewhere along the way, SL business tactics have gotten more combative. I don’t agree with the practice, becuz if a sales lady in RL gave me lip over a faulty garment I purchased, she’d be out of a job. I don’t understand how the principles of cordial business behaviour suddenly don’t apply in SL. If people are going out of their way to create realistic shopping environments in a virtual world, why can’t they apply realistic professional behaviour when it comes to business relations? Or are they just envisioning the melodrama of the fashion designers in RL and thinking it’s kosher to be combative with critical customers and reviewers alike?

Honestly, I don’t like those RL designers with the Diva-complex. So why would I support that mentality from SL designers?

I guess it’s preference. Some people design for the sport of it, for money. Some do it for the attention that comes from the profession. One takes feedback as an honest challenge to do better. Another one just wants praise, be it blind, deserved, or not.

I guess what I’m trying to address here is, for the designers out there … if someone complains about your product, do you just dismiss them as some lowlife who hasn’t been enlightened by your awesome skills? Why? What’s the harm in investigating? Look at what they’re looking. Find out where the flaw truly is. Is it their bad or yours? Sitting back on your chair, scrambling for friends to pat you on the back, and brushing off the complaint is stupid, unproductive, and cocky.

Yeah, I’m telling you you’re acting stupid. If you can’t handle the negatives of conducting business then you’re not worth shopping at.

Real money making should deserve some real professionalism. I’m sick of the mentality that people who try to market things to the SL public are untouchable. The economy isn’t what it used to be, so if I’m going to spend RL dollars on virtual wares, they better be worth it. Anything less is inconsiderate and in denial of the greater reality.

And as for the customers, you need to speak up. A designer who truly cares about the work they put out there won’t stand for a constant stream of hot air blown up their ass. Be honest. If it ain’t working, it ain’t working. The best that can happen is you finally get something you enjoy using. The worst is you stop shopping there.

Anyhoo, Viva SL Fashion. :P

There was an entry several posts down that I really felt for. I’m talking about the Stalker post. We know, seen, and heard about all the primpeepee-runners and skirt-chasers in SL. But these are all the tolerable setbacks of the cavemen-personas who populate SL. They’re gnats we can bat out of our way and go on with our SL days.

Aside from the occasional accusation of stalkery that sometimes stem from team-hysterics, how often do we really talk about the truly demented types in SL? And what did they exactly do to invade our little SL bubble? This isn’t the average “they said, we said thing, big mess, big noise, done by next Tuesday” thing. This is the kind who don’t back away after snarling at them to keep their distance. Where you hear rumbles about them but it goes away due to some serious PR-control. I’m talking about the screwed up personalities who upchuck their venom of twistedness on unsuspecting people, ensuring that if they can’t manipulate or inflict some control on others in RL, they can try and exert it on folks in SL.

Honestly, we all operate with this sense of a security blanket: “As long as we’re encountering these people online, we’re okay. We’re safe.”

Well, at the risk of sounding paranoid and fear-mongering, I’m going to burst your bubbles and say, sorry sweeties, you’re not entirely safe. Don’t assume the sociable stranger chatting you up at a live musician event is right in the head. Or the guy with the cute profile pic who IMs you randomly praising you for this and that is just friendly.

For starters, those who have their SL names plastered on Flickr, Plurk, Facebook, etc accounts, you’re already exposing yourself to get random IMs. I admit I have one of these accounts and I tell you, one was already enough. The moment my account gained more visibility, the more IMs I received in SL. Really weird IMs like “Hi, beautiful” Or just the unspoken friend offering that I would automatically turn down only to get an aggressively emo IM saying: “You don’t want to be friends??? Why you gotta be like that?”

And this is where I get pissed off. Becuz stalkers, have this sense of entitlement. They think they should be your friend and by not wanting to get to know them, you’re suddenly a mean person and hurting their feelings. They put the pressure on you, manipulating your emotions to feel empathy and make you be more sociable online than you’d be in person. I HATE THAT. And I hope most of you don’t fall for that bullshit.

Realize this, a stalker has been watching you for awhile. They have your whole story (and when I say “your” it’s you and him/her) made up already in their head. While you might be encountering them for the first time, in their head, they’ve had this conversation with you forever. So if they start asking, why, how could you, what did I do wrong?, etc, at the slightest whiff of rejection, there’s your sign. Restraining order, mafia friends, whatever. Get rid of that. ASAP.

I’m telling you it’s effed up. The best thing to do … don’t talk to anyone LOL. I know that’s extreme but in addition to what I mentioned above, here’s some flags that could tip you off:

1. Unusual closeness. — How often is it that we will meet our soulmate or meet a kindred spirit? Don’t kid yourself. It’s pretty damn rare. As rare as our individual DNA’s. So the chances of meeting someone who can relate to everything you mention is highly unlikely. There’s something weird about having a conversation with someone who’s too agreeable or praising for the mundane details of your small talk. Talking to you with a flair of familiarity that is a lil unnatural. Only long lost identical twins make headlines with this kismet connection. Not some schmuck in his underwear hacking at his keyboard while he eyeballs your avatar.

2. Too eager, clingy. — A healthy individual can stand on their own. Constant offline IMs, TPing to you the moment you log in (no mapping rights FTW), and this pushy need-to-know-everything is suffocating and just not right. If they are spouting nonsense of love, relationships, trying to jump on your poor avie’s bones without any preamble, and this is only the second time you’ve chatted them up. Seriously, you’re not that irresistible. That eagerness is coming from a deranged place. Especially if you’ve done nothing to invoke that kind of response. Chatting with someone doesn’t mean it will lead to anything erotic or romantic, but these folks don’t get that. Already, you saying “what’s up?” is foreplay to them.

3. Admitting to conflicts in the past — sort of. It’s the commonly joked about observation in SL … the ones who have “NO DRAMA PLEAZ” or any overtly anti-drama sentiment in their profiles usually indicate that they’ve been in one heck of a mess before. The stalkery types will usually admit to having conflicts with previous folks, but not go into great details, only to say the other person went apeshit. Like they were blameless in the drama. I can almost guarantee that’s not the case. We all have flaws that we don’t like to broadcast to people, but it’s another thing when the person goes out of the way to make others look bad and in turn make themselves appear almost victimized in the situation. Hey unless, it’s like, their ex held them hostage ala-Misery style well then, duh. But the jist of a stalker’s portrayal as the blameless one is that they are trying to impose an impression. To stroke your empathy and lower your guard around them.

4. Not taking no for an answer. — It’s like what I said earlier, if you try to keep your distance, they make you out to be the bad guy. But don’t waver in your decision. Whatever debate they bring up is coming from a place in their head where they think you already belong to them. Don’t entertain it. Mute. And I know some of you take a while to mute. Cuz you have to know what they are saying, but it’s only opening up the opportunity for them to get you to take the bait and talk to them. These folks can actually be quite manipulative and persuasive. So mute. Ignorance is bliss. Be grateful it’s as simple as that sometimes. And here’s another thing, just becuz we are all online doesn’t mean we have to suddenly forego our sense of personal space. Any guy or girl who tries to grope me or my man in RL is getting impaled by my stilletto. That applies in SL too. Those ~smiles and kisses~ emotes really annoy the piss outta me. ~Kisses hugs~friend offers~ back off dude you don’t know me. Folks, you’re not impolite when you tell them grabby pervs to get the hell away from you.

5. Overly sexual, dramatic, extreme, attention-whoring. — You know it’s like, there you are talking casually then the person suddenly lays it on thick like emoting kisses, undressing their avie, or going down a hate-the-world spiral, becoming really down on themself, and whatever odd little shit to supposedly entice some reaction from you. And it’s so out of context. Like there was nothing leading up to that kind of behaviour. It’s akin to being in a coffee shop talking to some guy about java beans and then suddenly he bangs his head into your crotch. Like wtf? And please don’t flatter yourself thinking, omg my avie is so hot they can’t help themself. I think you’re all fabulous but yeah, pride is a drug. :P And then there’s the dramabonanza spectacles. Threatening to either slit their wrists or cursing the world for its flaws. (Like whoa, the world, society, life is flawed? Like that’s so like deep. Err. Am I supposed to be enlightened? How bout yeah, get over it and yourself?) Try to calm them down, you’re accused of not understanding them. Try to get them to talk, they get all withdrawn as if they’ve got a pandora’s box of information to give to you. You’re just not doing enough to get through to them. Don’t make it a burden. You’re not a therapist. These theatrics are usually done to get you to put some kind of attention on them. Sometimes to extract overt concern, protectiveness. It’s needy, manipulative. And way too easy to get sucked into. And for them, it will never be enough.

I can go on and on, but I’m just speaking from my observations. I have to say it’s a scary situation to be in. This’s coming from someone who’s proud to be paranoid. A wise man once told me it just meant I was more aware. Anyhoo, SL Pepper spray, anyone? o.o

Hello Second Life, my name is Elizabeth and I am a drama addict.  I truly am a certified Drama LLama and I where that badge proudly! As pointed out by the commenter, I fully admit I leave SL more often than some characters on soap operas, LOL, but unfortunately I don’t come back as some hot 21 year old who was sent to Europe for boarding school.   Its simple I get annoyed with myself when I let a virtual environment upset me too much so I go.  But then I miss it and come back – yes I am a hypocrite LOL.  Also I am not afraid to admit I like to read and even write about drama because I think that more often than not what one person thinks is “drama” is actually another person expressing an opposing point of view.  Some people do it to create an environment of negativity for another person or a group or even a product, some people write about it just to say what irks them about this great world known as Second Life.

One point of my post was to say there are a lot of bloggers out there who really don’t even bother to try and make their look appear different in a skin from say the next blogger on the feed in the same exact skin.  Very few actually try and create a “character” with their avatar or to try and find one thing that makes them stand out from the crowd.  For example, Puma Jie, Gogo, Vega, Uma, Gidge, Cajsa and even Tenshi are very recognizable because they have taken the time to make their avatar look unique.

And it regards to “my supporters” in reality they are my friends and I would equally support them as well.  My point of discussing the suck ups on plurk is that there are a few in this fashion community who take all this fame too seriously and feel the need to suck up for acceptance.  I wont be friends with someone who is merely around to hitch a ride on my accomplishments.  I really feel as though I am a misfit in SL and maybe some of my so called supporters feel this way too. And if feel the need for attention, I say I need attention, LOL.  And actually the commenter reminds me of my friends cause they see when Lizzie is being a hypocrite or about to push publish on a post that will only do me more harm than good and aren’t afraid to call me out on it. Lets face it, we are all hypocrites – from time to time we say and do things that we dislike that others do.  And yeah it sucks but that’s just the way it is I guess.

And regardless of the critics or people out their who like to use my words for fodder, I am going to continue to talk about the things I like and I don’t like cause this world ain’t all unicorns and rainbows but I believe I do it with balance. I am just as likely to point the beauty of SL as much as the ugly.  Okay I think I have said enough.

Is it me or do you wonder if some of these second life SLebrities that do nothing but create a blog/plurk prom queen or king persona are people trying to compensate for not sitting at the cool kids table in high school.

Is it me or do you get a bit sick to your stomach when you see someone on plurk post a pic of their mug that looks like half of the other bloggers on the feeds and see a million suck ups saying “OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL”.

Is it me or do you find it pathetic the way some women fall over each other trying to get the attention of some of these males on plurk.

Is it me or when you see some people brag about how wonderful their RL is on plurk, do you think they are full of shit?

Is it me or do you get a bit weirded out when people talk about how hot your avatar is, seeing how it is just a cartoon.

Is it me or do you actually fear Internet fame cause it seems like the beginning of the road to Loserville.

Is it me or do you get annoyed when people actually think they can separate their RL from their SL.

Is it me or do you get annoyed with people who actually believe that some people in SL are cooler or more popular than others and that they want to be accepted or close to them for this fact only?  FFS they are dolts behind a computer just like you and I.

Is it me or do you get annoyed with some of these plurkers who tend to blame all the negativity and drama on plurk on people who are not a member of their fashion inner circle.

Is it me or are you a bit sick and tired of hearing that if one plurks or blogs things that irritate them or make them angry that they are labeled “negative” or expressing their “true character”.  Aren’t we allowed to get pissed off now and then? LOL.

Now don’t get me wrong I do think there are people in SL who are genuinely loved, admired  and “popular” because they really are nice people (*cough* Gidge, Cajsa, Gogo, Kess, Mouse, Pumpkin, Wilma).  And for me these people tend to be the most open about themselves and are quick to admit their real world beautiful geekiness, LOL.

I also think that some of the most unique and interesting avatars are not found on the feeds.  Instead they are lurking around SL just having a good time.

And NONE of the people I refer to in a harsh manner in this post are on my friends list in world or my friends list on plurk, thank you very much LOL.

Am I really the only one who thinks these things cause if I am, I am one super pretentious BITCH, LOL.