I’ve been pondering for a while whether or not to write about my experience with mixing SL with RL in relationships then after recent news I decided why not it’s not like the asshole deserves respect after everything he’s had me gone through.

I met Mr. [name removed]  back in late March of 2010.  The first few months of the relationship were some of the best I’ve had this man is very charming to say the least and knows how to get to women. He also has a lot of symptoms of a sociopath. Sociopaths lie easily, have a charm to them that attracts people to them. They use others without ever feeling remorse about using and hurting others. Sociopaths come off charismatic, charming, and with a lot of sex appeal than most people. They know how others view and understand love, with that being said they know how to manipulate it and make others think they feel the same but in reality sociopaths can’t feel love or empathy. Sociopaths feel superior to others and feel that its their right to do things the way they do. Shallow feelings and emotions is all they have. When they feel like it they will show you what you may think is warmth, joy, compassion, and love just to keep you around. Sociopaths aren’t genuine people and neither are their promises they are conning and manipulative. Given that they have no conscience they see the faults and mistakes in others yet they don’t see it in their selfs.

With that being said in the last week of September I flew from California to North Carolina to meet the asshole in Real Life. At first, I must say he wasn’t what I expected looks wise but love is blind as cliche as that may be. I trusted this  man with my life for those five days and gave my virginity. Because yes I was one of those who thought that it should be given to someone who loves you as much as you love them little did I know his feelings weren’t the same. While at his home I found children’s toys and food and I thought to myself strange he never mentioned a kid so I panicked and texted and ask why is there kid things around your kitchen and he said my ex wife would babysit the neighbors kids. Of course, love goggled me believed everything he said. Once I get home from North Carolina which is a long flight I may say. He starts behaving cold, working more, “sleeping more”, and probably on an alt. I run a background check on him and find out he lied about his age he wasn’t 33 as he told me he was actually 37. Age wasn’t an issue for me however the fact that I had to find by other merits was disappointing.

Coming November, he breaks up with me out of the blue. The day before calling me his sunshine and saying how sometimes he forgets how much he appreciates me to “I can’t do this anymore” the next day. Totally, throws me off for a loop. Tells me he isn’t interested in anyone else yet the next day I get a picture of him with another girl on SL. He uses the excuse that he’s lost and under so much stress. Ladies, we’ve all heard that one? So, I let is slide yet un-partner him. So, the asshole starts being on SL on the time I mean total SL addict. Yet the times I would be on for a few hours would accuse me of being on so much when he was the one on SL and probably screwing around with his whorish friends one of them whom he’s partner to now. Anyways, December strolls along and I fly out to North Carolina to see some details about school because yes he wanted me closer and I’m not one to back out of things just because relationships ends. Furthermore, used this trip to see exactly what happened with the relationship because this Mr. [name removed] would say he never felt that way about anyone or that I was the love of his life or I was we he was missing. Well, probably for those months give he does SL relationships as much as he shits. He made excuses why the relationship ended like Tiger Woods calling his whores to remove his number from his cell incases his wife calls. So, I go back home confused yet still wondering exactly what happened because how can someone who says your their everything switch like that unless theres a third party involved.

January, I move to North Carolina to finish college. The second week into school I log on to SL and speak to one of his many exes and mentions a child I was shocked as fuck when I found about the child. After, seven 1/2 months with this guy he never mentioned a kid. The day before that I see he partners when he told me that he would never partner again. Can you say castration time? I show up to his house lets say the poor man almost has a heart attack. Yet, was speechless when he saw me.  When to his place because he had the nerve to throw in my face that I gave my virginity up so willingly I don’t know about you guys but thats something you don’t do to someone who was actually in-love means he was just in it to hit and quit it. The asshole even though partner to an alt from a girl he met while I was with him. Still had me in his picks saying I was an amazing person and loved me and all that bullshit. However, after all his lies I decided to speak my mind out and posted this in my picks “[name removed]: Your an honest and truthful person took you a while to open up and you open up completely. Let a stranger in who fucks you up alot. After its over you begin to actually know the person who he really is…not who he made you believe he is.. you slept with this person in RL, you thought was genuine when you let him lay his head over you heart and listen to your heartbeat at night in his bed, and now you begin to wonder what was real and what wasn’t. He then tosses you aside like you meant nothing..it’s going to take a bit to get over this experience and lesson. The moral of the story is don’t do SL/RL relationships as a matter of fact don’t do online relationships at all ;) btw…you’re a fucking lying asshole…you keep playing the game…pathetic…I see now , that all your feelings and words were lies “love of my life” hmm, wonder how many times you said that one….ciao babe :) P.S. grow some balls and if you think jojo fucked you up…you can’t even imagine how fucked up you have me.”

A few hours after making this lovely pick on my profile [name removed] responds:

2011/01/25 00:41]  Incoming message from (name removed)
[2011/01/25 00:44]  [name removed]: your kind of being childish with your lashing out…i dont recall badmouthing you or trashing your charector at all none the less in public.  It shows an utter disrespect for me and is void of class.
[2011/01/25 00:45]  [name removed]: isnt it hypocritical to trash your people of sl then show that you basically cant live without it
[2011/01/25 00:54]  You: Hmmm, I’ve only been on what an hour and disrespect you? When you’ve never been completely honest with me. About bad mouthing me? Really Jason, can you really bad mouth me? I’m a good hearted person and everyone knows that. I’m the one who actually is trying to change. You on the other hand continue doing the same shit over and over. I can’t speak to you without fucking shaking. I’m going to therapy today and you can imagine how fucked up my story is going to sound to my therapist I can’t even type without shaking. SL? I can live without unlike you. You can say what you want at the end of the day I know I’m an amazing and I’ve put up with a lot of shit and you know what I just feel sorry for you because you can’t even realize how fucked up you’ve been with me.
[2011/01/25 00:57]  [name removed]: how fucked up i have been w/ you?>
[2011/01/25 00:57]  [name removed]: thats distortion of the truth
[2011/01/25 01:02]  [name removed]: if it makes you feel better to think of me as a monster or some prick then so be it, but honestly im not the one that fucked you up.  If you feel like writting about your feelings id suggest a journal.  None the less remove my name and derogatory information from your picks please.  As i stated its quite unclassy, quite immature and quite honestly you have no idea what RL is as you have never really lived it yet.  You forget Sandra I went thru my 20s and most of my 30s not relying on a virtual crutch.
[2011/01/25 01:08]  You: About disrespecting you? I used to think you were an amazing man with a good heart whom I cherished and had on a pedestal. Until I was told otherwise which hurt a lot. What you said about the whole virginity thing really hurt me because I thought you really loved me and I wanted to give it to someone who loved me and I loved back and that comment just destroyed me. I don’t see you as a monster I’ve never been able to. After, this experience Jason I’m never going to be like you. I live Jason I just live in a way that I don’t party or do stupid shit I live life on the safe side, helping other and without out lying about who I am. You’re the one using this as a virtual crutch since your on all the fucking time. As for me it’s not my crutch if you remember I was leaving this place before I met you. I stayed because of you and now I only come on if my friends want me to not because I want to. I wouldn’t come on at all but I made some amazing friends on here and off here.
[2011/01/25 02:04]  You: Since, you don’t have class either you won’t respond this. Honestly, you talk a big game over the computer. However, you’re too fucking addicted to it that you can’t speak about issues off of it. Believe me, you’re right I have balls unlike you. Because unlike you I know when I fuck up and I admit to it. In reality, I forgive you for all the harm you’ve caused me because I’m a good person who doesn’t wish you any harm just hope one day you can see all the harm you’ve done. However, I don’t think you will ever realize all the harm you’ve caused because according to my therapist you fit the symptoms of a sociopath. I guess all I really wonder is if you ever really loved me because if you did you wouldn’t have been the way you’ve been. The last nine months seemed like an illusion, when I really grew to care and love someone I didn’t really know. You lost someone who would have given up anything to see you happy and would have been a good friend. In reality, we all need the grow the fuck up.
[2011/01/25 06:18]  [name removed]: (Saved Tue Jan 25 08:43:06 2011) you dont know me babe….trust me when I say it that either you or your therapist are extremely twisted. Your issue is this quite simply….you are a fucking child, young minded.  You may think you know shit, but honestly you only end up bitting off more than you can chew.  You know, your words of confidence now come across as cockiness, and those that are cocky deserve a bit of humbling.  You actually need a TON more therapy and I would say to be more honest.
[2011/01/25 06:18]  [name removed]: (Saved Tue Jan 25 08:43:21 2011) Grow up and live life babe, period
[2011/01/25 06:39]  You: Calling me a fucking child? appearently you like children if you fucked around with a minor on a game. Hows that for karma? Calling me young minded when you’re the one chasing girls under 30 on a game. I don’t know you, which as of right now seems like a positive thing because now I see why you’ve never really had anything stable because you’re the one who is fucked up. Stop pinning on others your failure as a man. Man up and taking responsibilities for your actions. My confidence, is something thats developed shows you don’t have me wrapped around your finger like you once did. I admit my mistakes and errors. I can stare in the mirror and be proud of my life. Too bad you can’t say the same for yours. I’m living life now honey since you were the only thing helding me back :)
[2011/01/25 06:39]  Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
A few hours after that he texts me since I said he wasn’t a man:
Are you serious with what you sent me?  If so i think you might be nuts.  I can accept mad, but really now..you cant homerstly think what you wrote.  I am not a man now?  Ok, well I guess that makes sense coming from a little girl who is pissed because she feel insignificant.  Guess what babe, things arent always happily ever after and shitting butterflies.  Really now are you serious, me making you you wrapped around my finger?? I dont want a meek child.  You really happily ever after and shitting butterflies.  Really now are you serious, me making you you wrapped around my finger?? I dont want a meek child.  You really don’t know me appearently, nor do you think before you speak.  Dont talk to me about class, you only know how to be a poser, hide behind a computer and act like your some little badass.  Funny, I am actually happy you moved on, im totally happy.  I just dont understand why you act without maturity and class.  Have you no dignity?  I never shared anything with anyone about you or made it derogatorry other than sometimes complaining to Avery or Renee and trust me, both think your out of your mind babe!  Bonkers, completely.  But hey, your actions speak volumes of your stability.  Take anything sarcastic, derogatory or slandering out of your profile.  Its would be a very good idea.  I have been entirely easy on you, but trust me my patience is thin.  You know im not some dope you can play hardball with.  You maybe slick for a kid, but you are way out of your league.

I would shake every time I spoke to this man because he would be emotionally abusive so I lashed back to his text with this:

[2011/01/25 22:12]  You: Inquiring your text message and only logging on to sent this to you because I have other things to do than spend my nights on a fucking game like you. Ironic you calling me nuts, when you are insane. I’m not mad, I’ve never been I just feel sorry for your pathetic ass. I congratulate you with the way you try to belittle by calling me young, isn’t that what you always go for on that virtual place you call home. You go for the young ones to walk all over them and throw them away when you’re done with them. I don’t feel insignificant, because I know what I’m worth and I’m more than you’ll ever have. Believe me I don’t want you either who wants a near middle aged man who has so much baggage he needs a caravan. I’ve never really spoken to you about class. However, if we speak about it you don’t have it. Oh, and your friends thinking I’m nuts when you’ve said the same about both them in the past. Seems like your friends are two faced because they’ve said the same about you. My actions speak volumes? how about yours? you have no fucking conscience. You can’t even admit when you’ve done wrong. You are a man , yes I know however you’re the type of man who turns things around to look like a victim and feel better about himself. In reality, that Sydney woman was right you will end up a cold heartless bitterer bastard. I will remove the pick when I desire not because you are pressuring me with emotional abuse. What I find incredibly humorous is that you have the nerve to say I’m not honest when you are the one who lies about everything. Hell if you lied about your son what haven’t you lied about. I’m out of my league? Babe, you are then one who is out of your league.

As you can see he’s total package and a total catch and probably still married. Here’s the thing about most of the SL players they are socially inept in real life and would rather live life behind a screen than actually live it. Ironically, I spoke to his new partner which came off totally fake but what can you expect if she’s an alt of someone he’s been talking to while he was partnered to me. Classy women this one we may say. Especially if your partnered to this man and yet still says he loves his ex on his picks shows she has no self-respect for being with a man like him.  The moral of the story is don’t mix your real life with your second life. The majority on here aren’t what they make themselves out to be. Which hurts the ones who are themselves all the time. Oh, and [name removed] if you read this.

This is what happens with Karma, what goes around comes around :)

Editor’s note: This is a reader submission from Sandra. We have decided to remove the name of the individual named in this post to protect his identity.